Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Whoever Said There are No Dumb Questions. . . .

Well, interwebs and my ones of readers, I am with child again. Yep. It's true. AND it makes me bitchy. I wish I were one of those glowy, dewy complexioned, grateful, graceful pregnant ladies, but mainly I'm just more pudgy, more acne-ridden and grouchy. Big Ol' Bitch. That's me.

After seeing my OB (whom I had seen in a delivery room a scant 8 months prior) and getting the pregnancy confirmed (because 3 home tests weren't enough), my husband called up his crazy-ass parents. Later that day, I got a text from his mom that was just a smiley face icon. Like a 14-year-old girl.

Me: Thanks. We are working over the shock to be excited.

Crazy-ass mother-in-law: Yes. . .we bet you are! Are you feeling well? Morning/evening sickness? Able to work still?


Wha???? Back that train up. Able to work still? Um, yeah. Because unlike you, I want to contribute to my household budget. AND because I'm 6 effing weeks pregnant. How would that memo go to my boss?

Dear Sirs,
Due to my pregnancy, I will be unable to work for the next 34 weeks and then will require the following 12 weeks for maternity leave. I expect that my paychecks will continue during this time period. You may contact me via cell phone with questions, but not during naptime, please. I need my rest.
Sincerely,
Big Ol' Bitch


If her question wasn't the most ridiculous question of all time, then I don't know what is. I have worked through both of my previous pregnancies through 39 weeks. How the hell could I possibly stop at 6 weeks pregnant this time? Effffff. She's stoopid.

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